the word "reality"

paranoid people

2009-06-23T10:22:00.000-07:00

YOU.
why cant you understand?
why are you getting upset over every little thing?
whats wrong?

is it smth wrong with me?
if its me. tell me straight man.
dont tell other ppl and expect them to hint me or smth.

just be open and tell me straght.
i wont mind.

i was real happy when u first texted me the other day.
and the next moment you really spoilt it real badly.
you just asked it bcos you wanna go,
then what about me?
didnt you know what situation i am in?

whats going on baby?
tell me.

20th march

2009-03-21T06:05:00.000-07:00

20th march
7.17pm
most blessed moment of my life.
thank you.

9th feb.

2009-02-13T06:30:00.000-08:00

i am back posting like finally;]
a reason because jiamin seriously like so despo want to read my posts;]
haha hope you dont mind.
and, shiyuan, her birthday.
BELATED POST,
LIKE SO SUPPPPER LATE,
but i know you wont mind;]
happy birthday W*F*
I KNOW YOU FEEL SO HONOURED;]
dont thank me monday in sch, dont have to;]
supper bestfriend,
you are older than me, so be mature.
goodbye people,

super cool day.

2008-11-26T20:19:00.000-08:00

yesterday,

was supppper fun;]

first i went to mummy house to dye my hair.

it turn gooolllddd;].

let me show you a photo

then we went to penisula plaza.

i saw a freakkkking nice a7x bag.

i wanted to buy, but ernest said he will buy it for me for christmas;]

then we screened the whole shopping mall, some bought a few things.

then we went down to vivo;]

took afew photos;]

we didnt know we were being taken

ernest wanted this;]

family photo;] missing ahwei.

korkor,didi,mummy.brotther?

bearbear,ben10,girlfriend,boyfriend

past 3 days.

2008-11-05T20:06:00.001-08:00

on monday,

it was a last outing with rio.

he went back to indonesia already;(

one person less to play soccer with,go out with.

but, we accompanied him for the last day.(me and sufa)

we went to orchard to accompany sufa to get his desired bag.

we walked for like few hours.

then we went to eat at foodrepulic.

THEN WENT TO STARBUCKS!!

kepp going to starbucks these few days

this time i didnt know what to drink,

so they suggested i call calandra and drink her fav drink.

anyway, the MOST important part of the day.

we went to cenei leisure

and booked a private room, and we watched some comed

i forgot whats the name;x

it was cool. and we had a favourite part of the show.

US IN THE SUPPPER COOOL ROOOOM. LOL.

this photo was my favourite. its damn cool;)

me beside some frankistien, he does move;

thats it for day 1.

since i have posted so long for day one, shall just do a short one for day 2.

soccer training, soonpoh birthday.

I GOT FREAKING THROWN INTO THE SCH POND!!!

YUCKY! SLIMY! DIRTY!

THE LAST DAY,

I DONT HAVE THE PHOTOS NOW,

I WILL POST AGAIN WHEN I HAVE.

HALLOWEEN!!

2008-11-02T07:52:00.000-08:00

halloween night out!
went to plaza sing with wiv,marc,wesley and rio.
three went home unexpectedly.
so me and rio was left to roam the streets of orchard.
it was cool.
rio kept suggesting to call some girls.
buts lets skip that part.
we went to TCC.
it was having some halloween stuff,
the ONLY place in orchard i think,
that was having it.
its was cool,
rio was scared,
OF HUMANS?
i wanted to take photos with them,
but rio said dont want.
he scared. LOOOLLL.
we came out bout 3.
i went to drum studio and show him some stuff.
then after that went to fill our stomachs.
took a freaking bus which made a FREAKING BIG ROUND!!
and marc, wiv, wes left us.
me and rio went orchard.
walked, see the tcc halloween stuff(stated above)
we stopped at starbucks for coffee.
then continue,
the whole day was TOTALLY FUN WITH HIM LAH!!
but he's leaving singapore tomoorrw.=(
but its okay lah.
then, after that, we went toy r us.
supppper coooool!
played with stuff ther, esp the toy sword and ball.
until we got scolded by a staff.
we went to vivo for dinner,
and for him to see that ''someone''
we got home really LATTTE,
and i thinks he got into SHIT!

thats it now,
hardly post like that. LOL
JUST HIGH TODAY!

an ending,

2008-10-28T05:24:00.000-07:00

ponggol,
a place wher i spent half my life at,
a house, wher i slept at,
the kitchen wher i cooked at,
the living room wher LAUGHTERS was.
my room, wher i slacked at,
the love that was made,
the smile that was ther.
all the laughters will be missed.
its going to get sold.
which i am sure, nobody wants it to be sold.
ther are like hell loads of memories ther.
which made us cry and laugh. smile.
all the friendsssss;)
but, i will miss it for sure,
and ponggol-ers.
i will visit you guys,
can definitely find a friend's house to stay.
PONGGOL IS LOVED.

how foolish a human could be

2008-10-07T01:34:00.000-07:00

days past as i waited,
i waited,
it seemed like a thousand years.

now,
i looked back,
just to find out i have waited for a hundred days.

how foolish i was,
i thought to myself,
i have decided.

to give it all up.
although it will be a huge blow.
time will heal all wounds.

i hope it heals mine too.
i have even msg her,

and it seems like she dosent even fcuking cares bout this matter,
i have waited long enough.
i have done my part as a sedimental guy.

even if i end it this way,
all i want,
is for her to be happy too.

dear god,
i hope you shall fufil my promising wish,
amen.

everything's just a lie

2008-10-02T01:01:00.000-07:00

you promised me love,
but you lied.

you promised me fame,
but you lied.

you promised me a name,
but you lied.

you promised me a relationship,
but you lied.

helpless love, as i mourn for true love.

whatever was said,
was just a lie.

i even wondered,
if you were joking.
just to find out, i was foolish enough.

whatever promises you made,
was just a bunch of lies.

i was foolish enough,
to carry on,
having a heart for you.

but i didnt regret,
neither will i want to.

reluctance speaks,
and shut my mouth of truth.

i have always looked upon the times,
and have always longed for one more.

just once,
will be heart contenting..

as time passes,

2008-09-25T03:58:00.000-07:00

that was all it took.
a thousand years.
or probably a million.

just to look back,
and knew what was supposed to be let go,
wasnt let go.

life had been hard,
in fact really hard.
but i couldnt help it.

i was lost, helpless.
no one seemed to bother.
what was left were just images or me and her.

left in a room,
probably rotting
and left to die.

i dont wish to die,
not now,
when i have uncomplished wishes.

but,
the wish seem so helpless,
it seems like it can nv be complished, at all.

not even when the sky falls,
and turns green,
not even when i fade away,

slowly when it turns grey,
life is lifeless,
just as it seem as it is.

the first leg of queenscup

2008-09-01T02:20:00.000-07:00

days and nights passed,
letting the day to slowly arrive,
nights after nights,
it was being count,
and the day arrived,
leaving everyone in specks of excitment,

me too, was excited.
class then begin,
slowly, it rained,
then, i was helpless,
not knowing whether the day i have been wait for,
will be delivered,

slowly, time passes,
and the dismissal bell rang,
it was still raining,
we seemed helpless,but we knew what was going on.

we were then told that the match will still be on,
i was shocked, it will be different to play,
but i had to face it.

the match then started,
impressive first half i must say,
and i was praised with a header that almost scored,
coach was impressed i must say,
then opponent scored,
our moods went down,

half time wistle then came,
coach said i was good,
and wanted to make use of my physical str and place me as striker,
i was lost, it was my first time playing there,
i got no idea what to do,

then, we got the ball and counter attk,
wen guang travelled into the penalty box,
and they foul us,
we got a penalty!

i was asked to take it,
having no confidence, i rejected it,
then sufa took it,
he scored!!
all of us went ding ding dong,
we were happy!

soon the last 5 mins of the game arrived,
the opponent were counter-attacking,
then a shot was taken,
it was saved, but rebounded,
the captain was just in position and kneeled the ball into the net,
we were shocked,

then the full time whistle was blew,
we went back, with glum faces,

but although we lost, we still believe,
there is still a 2nd leg

the soccer trial

2008-08-16T06:34:00.000-07:00

the soccer trial was good, sort of dissapointing though,
wenguang, sufa, andy tan, douglas , haignee, clement and me met up at tiong bahru plaza,
i was late, supposed to reached at 6.30,
i reached at 7.45 instead,
off we went,
here and ther, ther and here,
and we got lost,
wasted bout 2hours just to reach the freaking turf city,
was fraustarted then,
quickly registered,
and got into action,
we got into teams of 4,
andy didnt get a chance to play,
then, we warmed up and got ready.
the first to matches of a crazy dingdong,
then came the last one,
and sufa said to me, " i dont care liao, i play rough liao"
then, in my mind,i knew what to do.
i needed to show what i got.
and then, somewhat,
i was delighted,
the coach call me out and talk to me,
i thought i was going to be selected,
then came the crucial moment,
the selectiong,
the coach started calling names,
but i wasnt called.
and i felt like i just wasted 5 hours of my precious time.
bleh, dont wanna talk bout it anymore!

the day was GREAT

2008-08-08T02:37:00.000-07:00

today was national day celebration in sch,
i was expecting smth more fun than that,
but in the end the day ended out with such a boring thing to do,
just did some cup staking games,

anyway that was totally boring,
BUUUUUT,
lucky our class had a fuuuuuuuuuuun party,
not to celebrate or smth,
but, to give minjee a farwell party.
chips, sweets, cookies, softdrinks, a cake

the cake was smashed on minjee's FACE WOOOHOOO!!
ate and ate,
people asked me to take photos with them,
oh yah,
it was the other way round,
i went into their photo(extra lah)

anyway, the day was good,

it was marcuses birthday

2008-08-07T04:52:00.000-07:00

it was my best soccer buddy's birthday,
7august,
he seemed quite happy today,haha,
god bless this child of yours,
even though he hasnt been very loyal to you,

anyway,
the day wasnt toooo bad,
maths remedial was cancelled,
so i had full time training,
did a little bit of crosses,keepering,
and first touches,

the day ended with a bus trip back home,
it somehow seemed familiar,
rainy day, wet all along the streets,
somewhat, it looked like a scence extracted from some certain emo tv show.

brazil vs singapore!!

2008-07-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

woohoo!

28/7/08 was the date.
brazil vs singapore.
first i went to marcuses house and got into the car.
and off we went.
the road was BLOCKED!!
and me and marcus went crazy.
we were late by 15mins.
hopefully we did not miss any actions,(i guess)

the first goal was by diego,(20th min)
second goal by ronaldinho, which wasnt a really nice goal.
last goal was by jo. the player i wanted to see.
i wanted to see anderson, lucas,ronaldinho,jo,parto,diego.
too bad parto went off at the second half.

"jurgen: eh marc, i really want to see a freekick form ron, then maybe can learn. haha"
"marcus: ahlah, relax lah,"

15mins later woooooo!!!
free kick.
bout 20metres.
but too bad.
it wasnt a goal.
but it was good.

the match was good.
singapore came alive the second half, out of no where.

have got to go now.

time changed ppl

2008-07-26T08:19:00.000-07:00

tick tock,
tick tock,

time passes as fast as human eyes blink
it changed ppl,
like how dark changes the light,
like how ink changes a white blank piece of paper.

everthing changes,
just a matter of time,
even ordinary human like you and me changes too,

best friends,
friends,
teachers,
family,
strangers,
told me that i have changed.
i knew it all along too,
some ppl said it bcos of this,
others say its bcos of that,
and the rest says it bocs of her.
whatever it is,
i dont wish ppl around me starts to dissapear,
like never before,

so, today was a great day to dylan's church.
it was totally awesome till the very end.
hope i could go ther once more.

pool of blood

2008-07-24T05:02:00.001-07:00

the training was shrewd.
with some assholes.

then in the bus ride, with our new "captain"
sufa,shunjun,marcus, and me.
we laughed and talk,
like what we always used to..
shunjun was sad,
bcos mavis did not reply him or pick up his calls.
then..

on the way home,
my nose started to bleed.
until a pool of blood,
was founded on my hand.

drip drip drip..
my hand was red.
it has been a long time since i last bled from the nose.

up went the lift,
and drip,
the blood dripped 1 2 3 4 5 6....
and then,
that was how the pool of blood was formed

it was a great day

2008-07-18T23:25:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a total great day,
first i went drumming,
at plaza sing..
the place wher memories were held..
of just she and me.
i stood at the point wher we parted..
the memories ended at that point.

what i could hope for,
is just that memories and wishes will bcome reality.

ok,then after that, i went to redhill to find my soccer partners.
and started soccering.
then went to joshua's church for more action of soccering,
i had sphagetti for dinner at his place.
the day was great.

it all begins with the same word

2008-07-17T21:21:00.000-07:00

its been 12 days,
which is 12 nights,

288 hours,
17280minutes,
1036800seconds,

thats means hell.
thats the amount of time,
days,
after we last went out together,

it might seem little,
but to me its like,
a decade, or more, a century.
in hell, burning with slaves,

what i could wish for now,
is only days i left..
together with her,
killing time together